How IFS Therapy Can Help You Manage Anxiety: A Real-Life Example
Anxiety can be overwhelming, affecting every aspect of a person’s life—from work to relationships to self-esteem. Many people struggling with anxiety have tried numerous coping mechanisms, yet still feel trapped in cycles of worry and fear. Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy offers a unique approach to managing anxiety, not by eliminating it, but by understanding and healing the parts of ourselves that are causing the distress. Let’s explore a real-life example of how IFS therapy can help someone, like Sarah, transform their relationship with anxiety.
Sarah's Story: Living with Anxiety
Sarah, a 35-year-old woman, feels plagued by anxiety. Her thoughts constantly race about work, her future, and how others perceive her. The physical tension in her body is unrelenting, and she often avoids new challenges because of the fear of failure. Despite her best efforts to manage her anxiety, it seems to control her life.
When Sarah starts IFS therapy, she learns to view her anxiety differently. Instead of seeing it as something to be fought or suppressed, her therapist helps her understand that her anxiety is just one “part” of her internal system—a part that’s trying to protect her.
Step 1: Meeting the "Anxious Part"
Through IFS therapy, Sarah begins to connect with the anxious part of herself. This anxious part triggers her constant worry and stress. With the help of her therapist, Sarah starts to see that this part isn’t “bad”—in fact, it has a specific role. The anxious part developed over time as a way to protect her from perceived danger or failure, believing that by being hyper-vigilant, she could avoid mistakes and harm.
Step 2: Discovering the Root of the Anxiety
Sarah realizes that her anxious part stems from her childhood. Growing up, she felt immense pressure to be perfect and avoid mistakes to gain her parents' approval. This pressure caused her anxiety to form as a defense mechanism. It served her well during childhood, helping her navigate the stress of trying to be perfect. But now, as an adult, it’s holding her back rather than helping.
Step 3: Healing through Self-Compassion
With the help of her therapist, Sarah connects with her “Self,” the calm, compassionate core of who she is - the Sarah without any parts present. The Self offers empathy and understanding to the anxious part, instead of pushing it away or ignoring it. Sarah learns to listen to her anxiety, offering reassurance and addressing its fears. Over time, the anxious part feels heard and understood, allowing Sarah to relax and feel less overwhelmed.
Step 4: Unburdening the Anxiety
As Sarah continues in IFS therapy, she reassures the anxious part that she no longer needs it to be on constant alert. While this part once protected her, it no longer has to carry the weight of keeping her safe. Sarah learns new tools to respond to anxiety, such as pausing and offering compassion, rather than reacting out of fear. Gradually, her anxiety lessens, and she feels more in control of her emotions.
The Outcome: A New Relationship with Anxiety
Through IFS therapy, Sarah builds a healthier relationship with her anxiety. She no longer sees it as something to fear, but as a part of herself that needed attention and healing. By understanding the root cause of her anxiety and giving it space to express its concerns, Sarah is now able to navigate life with more peace, clarity, and resilience.
How IFS Can Help You with Anxiety
If Sarah’s story resonates with you, you’re not alone. Many people living with anxiety feel trapped in cycles of worry and fear. IFS therapy offers a powerful tool to explore the underlying parts of yourself that may be fueling your anxiety, helping you build a new relationship with it. Instead of trying to suppress anxiety, you can learn to listen to and heal the parts of you that need support, leading to lasting relief.